After all this time, is acting 'like a man' still the most powerful thing a woman can do?

Today I attended the stellar Women Who Tech TeleSummit.  (Thanks coordinators, speakers, and sponsors who helped make it cheap enough to go to!)

The panel that gave me the most food for thought was called "Self Promotion: Is This Really a Rant About Gender?"  The main question, riffing off of the debate stirred up by Clay Shirky's article, "A Rant About Women," was: "Is it necessary to be a self-aggrandizing jerk to get ahead?"

So yeah.  Some questions that were debated were:  What does it mean to get ahead?  What's the difference between aggression and assertiveness?  How do you handle the double standard wherein men can act 10 times as aggressive as women while women get called a "bitch" when they act confident and powerful?  How can we change the standards on both the supply and demand sides?

One conclusion of the panel I found particularly salient and helpful was that when people moan about sexism and double standards, the retort "stop blaming men" makes no sense.  Demanding diversity on panels, at schools, in work places (minorities as well) is not a way of blaming men, but a way to improve the quality of, well, everything, by widening the pool of excellent candidates.  It was also pointed out that creating systems that invite women and people of color does not "lower standards" (I can't even believe how prejudiced a comment that is, but it's a common repsonse!), but rather acknowledges and addresses the issue that there are a bajillion qualified people out there, yet usually the white, male, "jerks" (to use Clay Shirky's word) are the ones viewed as successful and enjoying that so-called success.

As a result of all of this, I revisited Deanna Zandt's post, "Shirky to women: ur doin it wrong."  Definitely worth checking out her articulate post, as well as the debate that went on in the comments.  The blogosphere firestorm stirred up by Shirky's article may have subsided, but these issues are far from solved, so this is all certainly worth a read, a think, a comment, a talk with a friend about over coffee.  Who knows, it might even inspire you to hire a different employee, stick up for someone in the classroom, or go after what you think you deserve.  (For the record, I *do* think you can do that without being a self-aggrandizing jerk, a quality of modern masculinity that I hope we can all grow out of someday.)

30 Allies in 30 Days

Hardy Girls Healthy Women is highlighting 30 Allies in 30 Days leading up to their SPARK Summit on how to fight the sexualization of girls in media.  You've got to check out all the inspiring things these women are doing and join them in their efforts! I'm honored to be included as today's sister ally.  See you at SPARK!

[Re-post] The Dating Game: Sluts Don't Get to Be Happy

Just wanted to re-post this article from Bitch Mag by Megan Carpentier

 ...definitely some great food for thought for the ongoing debate. (I'm not saying I agree with all of it, but I like how she digs in and provokes thought.)

If you haven't heard, there's only one possible result when you're a "slut"—particularly if you have the audacity to do it without shame and—clutch your pearls, ladies—talk about it in a public forum.

 
Read more at Bitch Mag...

Power, Money, + Sexism - A personal tale and feminist action point

Today I received an enewsletter from ING (I have an account there) of which the first headline reads “Is that a bank branch in your pocket or...?”--the rest of the phrase as we all know, is, “or are you happy to see me?”  

This really stuck out to me – a sexual innuendo that places men on the top of a sexist power dynamic should not be a ‘cute’ headline from a financial institution, yet sexism is so embedded in our culture that this headline could seem harmless, attention-grabbing, or funny.

I wrote an email to DailyWorth (a great blog with financial tips and resources aimed at women) to see if we could harness reader power in the form of letter or petition: I want to let ING know that sexist old boys’ humor and modern money management don’t go together.  I'll let you know if I hear from DailyWorth, and in the meantime, feel free to write your own letter or make some calls!

I’m a big fan of ING and the services and information offered me as a patron, and I often recommend the company to my friends—seems it’s time to remind them that women are among their smartest and most independent, loyal customers too (and that their most lucrative male customers will be thinking with their brains, not their...er, pocket bank branches).

 Whad'ya say, activists?!