30 Allies in 30 Days

Hardy Girls Healthy Women is highlighting 30 Allies in 30 Days leading up to their SPARK Summit on how to fight the sexualization of girls in media.  You've got to check out all the inspiring things these women are doing and join them in their efforts! I'm honored to be included as today's sister ally.  See you at SPARK!

Guest Post: Beauty and Popularity

by Nancy Gruver

Peggy Moss’ wonderful new book, One of Us, got me thinking about the definition of beauty and how girls decide if they fit into it or not. The book takes us along with Roberta James, the lively and open main character, as she navigates the cliques on her first day at a new school.

As various groups tell Roberta that “you’re one of us,” only to say she doesn’t really belong with them as they learn more about her she begins to feel she doesn’t fit anywhere. Nearly all of us have felt like this one time or another. 

To soften the blow of rejection, Roberta even starts telling groups she doesn’t belong with them before they tell her that. She’s internalized the message that she can only be part of a group if she’s like them in every way.
Fortunately for readers, a group has formed around being different from each other. They welcome Roberta as she is. 

In its simplicity, the story provides wonderful opportunities for readers to observe and relate to the many differences between people. It gently conveys the limited divisions we impose on each other and encourages us to transcend them. 

One of Us will start great conversations with girls and boys of all ages who are seeking ways to make peace between who they are and who the outside world wants them to be.  Read it and share it. 

Nancy Gruver is Founder of www.newmoon.com - a creative online community and magazine for girls ages 8 and up where girls also like being different from each other, even when it’s hard.

Press release: NewMoon.com’s “Beautiful Girls” Raise the Value of Inner Beauty

Spreading the word...! 

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:              


Girls Fight Harmful Beauty Messages:
NewMoon.com’s “Beautiful Girls” Raise the Value of Inner Beauty

Flashing zits on a virtual face seek to convince girls to retouch “unflattering” Facebook photos so no one will “gawk at them.” Relentless media and marketing tell girls that their looks are far more important than their minds, spirits, or talents.

Girls have had enough.

Now, girls are fighting back with NewMoon.com’s “Beautiful Girls” campaign. Starting today, through June 30, anyone worldwide can honor a girl or woman for her inner beauty: her accomplishments, passion, creativity, compassion, and all the other things that make up a wonderful person by completing a brief nomination form at www.newmoon.com.

Starting May 1, all the nominees will be featured in the Beautiful Girls section of NewMoon.com: the safe, ad-free, creative community made by and for girls. This powerful campaign counteracts unhealthy messages like those at PicTreat.com, where “face detection & correction technology … can smooth out skin, remove skin flaws….

PicTreat is just a new example of the age-old messages that led 90 percent of the teen girls questioned in a 2009 Girl Scout Research Institute study to say they couldn’t measure up to “beauty” standards.

“Stuff like that makes me furious,” says Nneoma Igwe, 13, of New Moon’s Girls Editorial Board. “We girls know that what we do, think and care about is more important than how other people think we should look. With this year’s “Beautiful Girls” online event, and our What Is Beauty magazine (in bookstores May 1) we tell the world what really matters!”

New Moon Girl Media Founder Nancy Gruver says, “For 17 years, New Moon has believed in the power and beauty of girls being themselves. This year, we’re in the leadership group convened by the American Psychological Association and Girls Scouts of the USA to support H.R. 4925 the Healthy Media for Youth Act. Girls need it desperately.”

According to the American Psychological Association, three of the most common mental health problems among girls — eating disorders, depression or depressed mood, and low self-esteem — are linked to sexualization of girls and women in media.

Gruver says, “But there’s better news among the thousands of New Moon girls: when asked to define beauty for the May-June issue of New Moon Girls magazine, our members tell about their inner beauty shining out in creativity, courage, and compassion; the only beauty that can keep them feeling happy and fulfilled. “

Anyone can nominate someone (even themselves!) to be a New Moon Beautiful Girl—just go to www.newmoon.com/form/11/beautiful-girl-nomination and fill out the simple entry.

Then look for that girl’s first name on NewMoon.com in May, June and July.

“After all,” Nneoma says, “Real Beauty isn’t about how we look. It's about who we are and what we do.”

New affiliation with New Moon!

I'm excited to announce my new affiliation with New Moon, a great ad-free magazine and web community where girls 8-12 can truly be themselves! Sign up for a free trial today!!

via newmoon.com

New Moon Girls is an online community and print magazine where girls create and share poetry, artwork, videos, and more; chat together; and learn. All in a fully moderated, educational environment designed to build self-esteem and positive body image. Membership is just $29.95 for 12 months unlimited online access + 6 bimonthly issues of New Moon Girls print magazine.

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Interview with Liz Funk, author of Supergirls!

Liz Funk, author of the new book, Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Crisis of Overachieving Girls, is on a virtual book tour--and a mission to widen everyone's tolerance and respect for being the imperfect, interesting, great people we all are.

In this interview with yours truly, Liz talks about how girls today feel they need to be perfect, gives insight into why trying to be perfect diminishes quality of life and relationships, and shares some tips on how to cherish being genuine. Enjoy!


JB: You’ve done a lot of research and interviewing for your book, Supergirls Speak Out, where you indicate that many girls and women today feel they have to be perfect, or “supergirls” who can do and be everything. Why do they have this feeling? What is particularly going on in our society that makes women feel so pressured?

LF: Girls today want to be a perfect 10. They want to excel at everything they attempt; in short, they’re perfect. Sadly, I think many young women get the message from the media, from their peer groups, and most notably, from themselves, that they have to be perfect if they want to be loved. It’s largely caused by sexism in society (especially in high schools and teen youth culture), the media, and our fast-pasted culture that doesn’t really encourage young people to spend much solitary time alone with their thoughts—they’re too busy blogging, and tweeting, and Facebooking!

JB: Is this an issue unique to the current female generation? Or, how does it tie in with past generations’ struggles for gender equality?

LF: The first draft of my book actually had a chapter about how the Supergirl dilemma is nothing new; it’s just the new century’s version of “the feminine mystique” that plagued women in the 1950’s! However, the tone of the chapter didn’t quite work, so I cut it (my initial major in college was women’s studies, so sometimes I have a tendency to write in a very academic way and bring up Friedan and Dworkin when it’s not the right place to do it. Haha…). Anyway, I think that what we are seeing here with the Supergirl dilemma is actually the exact same problem as “the feminine mystique” with symptoms that are the exact opposite. In the 1950’s; women were told that there was one way to be a woman—to be a loving homemaker mother who kept herself extremely busy with being pretty, having the latest swirling skirts and washing machine, and jetting off to PTA meetings and social committees, all in an effort to distract herself from the fact that society’s prescribed role for women was very limiting. Today, girls are told that there’s one way to be a girl: be a good daughter who keeps herself extremely busy with being pretty, having the latest season’s miniskirt and sweaters from American Eagle and the Gap, and keeping extremely busy with school and work and extracurricular activities, all in an effort to distract herself from the fact that society’s prescribed role for women is very limiting. There is the obvious difference that in the 1950’s, young women weren’t encouraged to be smart or intellectual or leaders, and today, young women are required to be intellectual and leaders, but at the end of the day, I would argue that the Supergirl dilemma is the second major crisis for young women since “the feminine mystique” that mostly arose because feminism’s work hasn’t been finished yet. We need to teach young women that it’s good to be a girl, and that they don’t need to feel confined to adhering to a very limiting female ideal in exchange for their community or their peer group’s approval.

JB: In your opinion, how does today’s media play into how women feel about themselves? What particular sources have what effects?

LF: I think the biggest problem in today’s media is that the women in the media look perfect. Female celebrities have never been thinner—Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Nicole Richie, etc. etc.—but also, we’ve never had celebrities all conforming to one limiting female ideal before: long hair, charming and giggly, and not particularly rebellious, like Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, and Jennifer Aniston (although I do love all three of these actresses). I don’t think that Angelina Jolie could have ever gotten famous today in her punk-rebel stage, because every female celebrity we see is well-groomed and nice and extroverted. Also, there are a lot of fictional Supergirls that influence how the girls at home feel about themselves: Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, the girls of Gossip Girl, and even Hannah Montana—although these are lovable characters, they give even the youngest girls the idea that beauty and success are simultaneous requirements and that you should make it look as though both come easily.

JB: What role do you feel women have in contributing to each other’s self-esteem or lack of confidence?

LF: Once young women observe perfect women in the media, they emulate having a perfect exterior, and then that model of perfection starts to take off in peer groups. I think that once one girl in a social circle—whether we’re talking in high school, in college, or among twentysomethings—starts to appear effortlessly perfect, her friends and her peers try to imitate that, and it snowballs from there.

JB: What are the consequences of trying to be perfect for individual women, their relationships, and even society or the world?

LF: Statistically, more young women than ever before are considering suicide, and I think it’s no coincidence that this is happening simultaneously with the rise of Supergirls. There are other mental health repercussions that I observed amongst girls, like anxiety, eating disorders, OCD, and depression. And I think the broadest problem is not having a sense of self; not having an identity outside of being a Supergirl or a hard worker.

JB: What are some tips you have for girls and women to positively feel they can be and do whatever they want, without feeling they must be perfect?

LF: First and foremost, girls should get some hobbies. Find things that you enjoy and that you feel passionate about that have nothing to do with work. For example, I just took up the oboe, I love to paint, I love to go to art museums, I love to read novels, and I love stupid movies (like Grandma’s Boy, Superbad, and Little Nicky). Make collages with pictures of random things that you find intriguing. Turn off the lights in your room and listen to music with your eyes closed. Meditate. Find your center! And the most revolutionary thing women can do is look in mirror and say aloud, “I love you. I appreciate you. You matter.” Say it enough, and I think the Supergirls will start to mean it, and see their Supergirl selves fading away.

Young women need to find their sense of intrinsic worth—why they matter regardless of what they look like, what other people think of them, how they make others feel, and what they’ve accomplished. Everyone has worth and everyone has value, and girls need to realize that when they are sitting on their couch in their jammies at 3pm on Saturday afternoon with their hair greasy and their nail polish chipping, they are just as special and just as important as when their hair is blown-dry and they are in a minidress and leggings out on the town for the night with a cute date! What I recommend is that young women spend as much time as possible embracing their creativity, developing their tastes and their personality, and finding themselves! Young women need to find their value, and I think the best way to do that is to be alone with one’s thoughts, spend time alone with oneself, and start to enjoy spending time alone and enjoy listening to one’s internal monologue.

JB: You mentioned that, under the pressure to be perfect, girls and women are oftentimes afraid to be themselves. What are some ways girls and women can feel comfortable exploring and being who they are?

LF: I absolutely love the movie Juno. Casting aside the movie’s puzzling treatment of abortion, I love the character Juno and how unafraid she was to be herself; she liked guitars and punk music and sarcasm and funky clothes. And I think that if more girls could embrace their inner-Juno, and be exactly who they want to be, regardless of whether it would affect how others see them or their place on the social totem pole, we’d be in great shape.

Supergirls on lizfunk.com
Supergirls on Amazon

Save Dora the Explorer from a Tween Makeover by Mattel!

I've just heard from Hardy Girls Healthy Women that Mattel plans to give Dora the Explorer a "tween" makeover--please sign this petition to help keep Dora as the adventuresome, independent role model that she's been!

Dear Friends,

We need your help to save Dora the Explorer from a 'tween makeover' by Mattel!

You know the original Dora - she is beloved by little girls and boys everywhere for her adventuresome spirit, curiosity, and bravery. But if Mattel and Nickelodeon have their way, Dora's getting a makeover. There are already too many dolls out there that limit the potential of girls. Find out more and sign our petition.

Thanks for your help!
Hardy Girls

Read, Watch, Check Out

I've been stockpiling some links definitely worth checking out...

Double standards turn up at, yup, the dry cleaners
NEW YORK REGION | February 05, 2009
At the Cleaners, One Woman Seeks Gender Equality
By CARA BUCKLEY
Women's shirts often cost much more to launder than men's, even if they are smaller and made of the same cloth. Janet Floyd is out to change that.


Where media, pharmaceuticals, and women's health intersect (and I love that this is in the Business section, and not Fashion or Lifestyle for once!)
BUSINESS | February 11, 2009
Advertising: A Birth Control Pill That Promised Too Much
By NATASHA SINGER
As part of a settlement, Bayer is running ads that clarify the side benefits of its birth control drug, Yaz. Regulators say earlier ads played down the risks.


Very much in line with articles and books written by my contemporaries on the pressure on girls and women to be perfect...
According to new research at UC Berkeley, Pressure to be a supergirl is causing teen mental health crisis

*I'm excited to say that more on this topic will be coming up as well: An interview with Liz Funk, author of Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Lives of Overachieveing Girls, will be posted here during her virtual book tour March 12th.

The Obamas stand up to marketing to children

Check out this editorial by Susan Linn from the latest CCFC (Campaign for Commercial Free Childhood) newsletter, called Protecting the First Daughters (and Other Kids, Too).

When the Ty Company celebrated Barack Obama's inauguration by exploiting his daughters, the First Parents were understandably outraged. The company launched two new African American dolls named "Sweet Sasha" and "Marvelous Malia," laughably denying that they had any connection to the real Obama children. Michele Obama issued a powerful statement about the dolls saying, "We believe it is inappropriate to use young, private citizens for marketing purposes."

The Obama's laudable effort to protect their girls from commercial exploitation is going to be an uphill struggle. They were already publicly urged to appear on the hit Disney show, Hannah Montana. The press refers to them as "first tweens," a marketing demographic dumping ground for children ranging in age from 6 to 14-and the Washington Post has called them "fashion icons."

Before his inauguration, President Obama wrote a public letter to his daughters sharing his hopes for them and, by extension, his hopes for all of the children in America. President Obama clearly sees his daughters as individuals, but can also see "every child" in them. I'm hoping this is one of those times.

While the form of their exploitation might be unique, the Obama girls are not alone. Corporate America routinely uses young private citizens for marketing purposes. They might not be turned into dolls, but they are exploited as research tools and as a vast, unpaid sales force. Companies like The Girls Intelligence Agency exploit children's friendships by conducting market research during pajama parties. Nickelodeon and Toys R Us, among others, have conducted market research in elementary schools. In the name of Internet safety, market research firms track children's online activities for their corporate clients. Popular social networking websites like Webkinz and Barbiegirl.com routinely encourage young users to reel in their friends through viral marketing.

What differentiates the Obamas from other parents struggling to protect their children is that the President actually has the power to take on Corporate America. As a first step, he could call on Congress to reauthorize the Federal Trade Commission's capacity to regulate commercial access to children, and repair the damage done when it was stripped of much of its power at the dawn of the Reagan era. As his administration reclaims the right of government to set limits on the market, I hope he remembers his children-and other people's children as well.

I would just like to add that these dolls were created by Ty, the same company that makes the Ty Girlz Dolls that I blogged about last year...'nuff said.

YPulse Mashup in June

I've just gotten word of this year's YPulse Mashup, a conference coordinated by tween/teen technology maven, Anastasia Goodstein, "Where today's top brand, corporate and social marketers, media professionals, educators and non-profit organizations gather to share best practices, research and latest strategies on marketing to youth with technology."

Anastasia says, "Hey everyone. Please help spread the word about the big Ypulse event coming up in June. If you're press, email me at anastasia@ypulse.com for a pass. If not, use the code FB for an extra 10 percent off the early adopter rates..."

The details
Event: Ypulse 2009 Youth Marketing Mashup
What: Business Meeting
Host: Ypulse
Start Time: Monday, June 1 at 5:00pm
End Time: Tuesday, June 2 at 8:00pm
Where: Hotel Nikko

You can also see more details and RSVP to the event on Facebook.

Guide to Commercial-Free Holidays

The CCFC has just released their guide to commercial free holidays. Check it out!

Turn Beauty Inside Out!

I'm writing from Minneapolis, where the Turn Beauty Inside Out Leadership Retreat was held today. I was honored and lucky to lead a workshop with a group of 50+ awesome girls ranging in age from 10-17. As usual, what girls have to say continues to blow me away, and I am ever hopeful that since they are conscious of the need to get their voices out in the world (something the prior generation might not have been aware of, despite being told we could be anything we wanted to be), more and more positive change for girls and women will take place.

Together, we thought a lot about identity and how that feeds into our goals. Here are some thoughts from the girls!:

1. Identity is who we are and what we like
2. Identity is your "core" - it's important to hold onto that, since sometimes identity can be manipulated to make others like us more or less
3. Sometimes we feel pressure or expectations to be a certain person that isn't authentic
4. True identity can come out when we can express ourselves freely without feeling judged (like with good friends!)
5. Confidence comes from being touch with your real self
6. Adapting to situations is great; changing who you are to "fit in" hurts

And here are some traits that girls look for in leaders, and hope to lead the next generation with:
1. Courage
2. Self-confidence
3. Strength
4. Good listening
5. Out-spokenness
6. Uniqueness
7. Honesty
8. Focus
9. Cleverness
10. Power

Whoo! I vote for that...

We also talked about how many "leaders" (celebrities) today are simply noticed because they're sexy or appear a certain way - and acknowledged that those aren't really the things we wish the world revolved around.

I was truly touched to hear the girls' final thoughts about how meaningful the simple act of coming together today was. Finding commonalities amongst such a diverse group about how we all struggle to "be real" was very impactful. I love moments when girls and women can find each other and really see each other as allies rather than as competition, and today certainly seemed to be one of them.

And time spent watching girls create vision boards and positive self-messages with pom poms, glitter, and the like never fails to inspire me!

You're Amazing!

I just got word from the awesome Claire Mysko at 5 Resolutions that her book for girls is out this week!

Claire writes: "You're Amazing! A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self is based on the Girls Inc. "Supergirl Dilemma" study, which shows that girls are feeling increasing pressures to be perfect and please everyone. Perfectionism is a major source of girls' stress (60% of girls in the study reported that they often feel stressed), low-self-esteem, and poor body image. That's the bad news. The good news is that with the right tools and support systems, girls can learn to give up the quest to be "super" and start celebrating what makes them amazing. My hope is that this book will help to kick-off that celebration. I would like to say a big, big thanks to you, dear readers! Your support and kind words have meant so much to me. Speaking of amazing...you all fit the bill."

To kick things off, Claire is doing a book giveaway for girls on her blog! Girls who post a comment about what makes them amazing will be entered to win an autographed copy of the book. The contest runs through July 7th and girls can enter here.

Woohoo for positive change!

Barbie's Not a Real Woman

Looks to me like "Lingerie Barbie" (pictured left - I can't believe she really exists, ack) and this line of Barbie-inspired couture for real women are part of the same harmful trend that tries to sexualize girls and youth-ify women. It seems no one's perfect the way they are and absolutely everyone female should be Barbie incarnate.

An awesome girl I know at New Moon did a piece on Barbie, with all those stellar facts like, "If Barbie were real, she would cease to menstruate because of her unhealthy body weight."

Yeah.

Happy Turn Beauty Inside Out Day!

Today is Turn Beauty Inside Out Day and we should all celebrate! TBIO is meant to spark awareness and action about the images of girls and women in the media, and what we can do to expand definitions of beauty. (Every day is TBIO day for feminists, media activists, and the lot, but you know, we all need a reason to party and get our social change stuff organized.)

You can participate by requesting your free Turn Beauty Inside Out Action Kit and asking friends and parents to donate to the Turn Beauty Inside Out Campaign. Also, encourage tweens and teens you know to submit to the Turn Beauty Inside Out essay contest!

Here's the essay question:"There have been arguments that the media has portrayed/covered the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign differently because she is a woman. Do you agree with that statement? Why or Why not?"

Essays must be 500 words or less and received by June 30, 2008 via email to tbio@mindonthemedia.org.

1st Prize - $200 2nd Prize - $100 3rd Prize - $50

The winning essay will be distributed nationally during the Turn Beauty Inside Out campaign. Good luck!

My Beautiful Mommy

Hold the phone. I just got a Media Watch Alert that included protest of a picturebook for kids called My Beautiful Mommy. No, it isn't a loving and appreciative book about how awesome moms are and why they're beautiful in so many ways, it's a book about how to adjust to your mom's plastic surgery.

What an awful, self-esteem-bashing thing to teach your daughter! Mothers' insecurities and/or values of self-worth are often passed on to their daughters, but this book has made sure we're all going in the negative direction. Having the "option" of plastic surgery as a way to happiness is not, in my humble opinion, what feminism should be achieving.

Instead of needing books that teach kids how their mothers will go to drastic measures to look a certain way (note the Mom's thought bubble of being Miss America and getting lots of attention for her surgically enhanced beauty), perhaps we should take the daughter's advice in slide 3 who says, "You're already the prettiest mommy in the whole wide world!"

These Dolls Don't Play Nice

I was at the Hallmark store the other day getting birthday cards when I saw a rack of Ty Girlz – plush adolescent-looking dolls accompanied by an online code which grants the buyer entry into the Ty Girlz virtual world. I was curious about what Ty (the company that makes these dolls as well as the popular Beanie Babies) had created as their world, and why lately, I have witnessed an outbreak of teenager dolls (think Bratz, This is Me, etc.). I decided to buy one and do some of my own dollerific research.

Perusing my options, I wondered why all the dolls had such downright mean and sarcastic facial expressions. It seems we Americans think that teenage insolence is the coolest thing around, and further reinforce this idea—often culturally attributed to movies, music videos, and celebrities—by selling such dolls to 6 to 13-year-old girls. (I recalled a small girl I had seen the day before in a parking lot, strutting around in a mini skirt and high-heeled boots while holding her mother’s hand. It seemed to me the sale of those clothes benefited the manufacturer more than her.) In the end, I chose Rockin’ Ruby, a rocker chick in all-black faux vinyl or leather. Outfitted with a belly-button ring, choker (wow, a whole ’nother blog could be written on why it’s called that!), platforms, and oodles of makeup, she seemed like the toughest of the lot. (They each sported heels of some sort, makeup, and plenty of accessories though.)

As it turned out, Rockin’ Ruby had just been “retired” (no more of her type of doll will be made), but I could see from her goodbye messages in Ty Girlz world that her persona was a young woman on tour with a band, a teenager whose “positive” traits of independence and musical talent were actually just a hankering to party and dress like a celebrity bad-girl. The rest of the Ty Girlz were equally as into being flirty and glamorous (aka sexually suggestive and super-duper slim) according to their bios and appearances—but who can enjoy your own snazziness when you’re so busy worrying about how you look and which new clothes you need to buy? (You apparently also “NEED” to buy the rest of the Ty Girlz dolls to complete your collection, a direct marketing effort built straight into this world for girls.)

I apologize for judging the dolls based on their external features and certainly hope I am not promoting any negative stereotypes by discussing the personality types these dolls are meant to be, but it’s important to point out that someone purposely created their “looks” and “personas” in order to turn a profit. These skinny, lollipop-headed dolls make cool the anorexic/bulimic body figure, as if feeling bad about yourself, your life, and the state of the world, is normal or even fun and desirable. They imitate the insecurity many of us feel about our external appearances, activities, and relationships—and that makes them cool enough to buy? How confusing.

The Ty company, by involving real girls in their dolls’ virtual world, have infused these toys with a celebrity effect: that of being role models despite that they’re not real people in girls’ personal lives. The Ty Girlz world is a higher-pitched, curliqued version of the commercial MTV atmosphere. As I surfed the site, loud rock or dance music erupted from my screen to accompany chat rooms, fitting rooms, and bedrooms. All there is to do is shop (for clothes or furniture for your house), chat, and play games that all center around a gabby (even catty), sexy climate—and one that ultimately is simply there to endorse the Ty product. After playing some shopping, dressing, and dancing games (whose characters ask you aloud in a girls’ voice to help them “look perfect” or “look my best”), I became hopeful that the trivia game might offer a more interesting and 3-dimensional horizon to this world. When I found that it only featured Ty Girlz “facts,” I truly felt the narrow confines of the Ty Girlz universe: It would be like living in a mall, where every fashion, friend, activity, and thought is dictated to you. For all its colors, cell phone rings, zooming cars, makeover before-and-after shots, and easily-earned Girlz world money—all you have to do is stay and play, and your bank account fills again—its shallow interactivity would not normally hold girls’ attention. But feeling bad about what they look like, what activities they do, and how much money they have compared to their co-avatars sure might.

I am highly disappointed that today’s toys—objects that used to stimulate children’s imaginations—now tell girls not only how to play with them and who they should aspire to become but also who to be now. (One could criticize traditional babydolls for influencing girls’ hopes of eventual motherhood, but Ty Girlz and other such dolls pressure girls to be chic, sexually active, and exterior-focused in their current lives.) And while the Ty Girlz dolls may be accompanied by a bajillion play options that seem to expand or improve upon real-life make-believe—She’s not hard plastic! She’s a friend closer to your age! You can buy her tons of virtual outfits in any color!—her personality, fashion sense, wishes, and ambitions are built-in and pretty unchangeable. (Yes, Rockin’ Ruby’s shiny silver panties are woven into her skin and the rest of her clothes are sewn on—not to mention, the size of her head ensures that she will stick with her current top forever. Clearly, this IS the outfit she wants to be wearing.)

Even if I consider social or community aspects offered by the Girlz world that one might not have with a regular ol’ lone toy, in addition to the confusion between doll and self caused by the online avatar world, these dolls as playthings teach girls that appropriate friendship activities are to “dress up your room” and “give your girls makeovers.” (In imitation of today’s narcissistic ‘social networking’ friendship sites, the “All About Me” section is coming soon to tygirlz.com.) The Girlz chat-room scene is equally as grim. The fact that—against a background of animated silhouettes clubbing—clickable pre-written phrases exist to aid girls too young to type gives me a clear signal that perhaps they shouldn’t be there, and that this is not a place where real friends are found. (Moreover, the fact that I signed up as a 25-year-old yet had full access to the chat rooms doesn’t make me feel any better about the security of girls who might be excited by a stranger’s flattery.)

One website cannot of course single-handedly make a girl devalue herself, no less contribute to how secure she is as she becomes a woman in her teenage years. But in a nation where girls’ (and therefore women’s) self-esteem is dropping, I would say that it certainly adds to—and profits from—the cacophony of voices telling females of all ages who and how to be.

But enough of my ideas—what do YOU think about these dolls? What are your opinions about doll ages (baby, girl, teen, adult)? Do you have TY Girlz or similar dolls with an online playspace? How are they the same and different than dolls that don’t have an online world? What do you think are the pros and cons of playing online? Feel free to disagree with anything I said or comment on a related question I didn’t mention—let your voice be heard! I look forward to reading…