Soapbox's Feminist Winter Term

Today I was thrilled to do a workshop on body awareness at Amy Richards' and Jennifer Baumgardner's Feminist Winter Term.  This amazing program gives savvy, passionate students and professionals a platform to come together for a week of feminist powwow.  Yes!  It's these sort of groups and events that help negate cynicism and feelings of futility.

And you can jump in at their Feminist Summer Camp (or of course, next year's Winter Term).

Dear Victoria's Secret, get your paws off my feminism

Alright.  Victoria's Secret has really outdone itself this time. 

It's bad enough that this corporation promotes narrow ideals of beauty and sexiness that have horrible consequences on girls' and women's self-esteem, self-image, and co-ed relationship expectations.  But, in recent years, they've gotten hip to the fact that lots of us are sick of our bodies being chopped into scrutinizable bits by ads, and they've begun co-opting our media literacy efforts.  

 

First they featured the "Love Your Body" ad campaign, which twisted the Dove and other non-profit messaging intended to help women love their bodies and see themselves *apart* from commercial standards.  Now, they're touting the "Incredible" bra, which is advertised with a play on 70's bra-burning feminism: "Burn my old bra! This one's incredible!"  They may as well say, "Burn that old-fart, unappetizing sexism!  The coy, submissive woman is back!"

These 'clever' marketing techniques not only confuse public awareness while they poke fun and delegimitize the serious public health issues involved in low body image and sexism, but they go one step further in reaffirming and promoting the oppressive norms bra burning and self-acceptance initiatives try to combat.

I'm tired of living in a culture where women are taught to compare themselves to each other, to be jealous and competitive over men, and to never feel perfect or deserving enough to inhabit themselves fully.  I'm tired of living in a culture where women feel they must be like porn stars to make male partners happy, where the freedom to be sexually active has been usurped by the same old corporate interests, and male-pleasing, porn-performance promiscuity inserted where empowered fulfillment and true intimacy ought to be.  It's hard enough to get out a message celebrating uniqueness and real, personal beauty over the din of dollars and cents accumulating, without that same commercial monster using my cause...for their own profit, yet again.  Way to add insult to injury!

My panties certainly ARE in a wad.  Hm.  Maybe that'll be their next tagline.

After all this time, is acting 'like a man' still the most powerful thing a woman can do?

Today I attended the stellar Women Who Tech TeleSummit.  (Thanks coordinators, speakers, and sponsors who helped make it cheap enough to go to!)

The panel that gave me the most food for thought was called "Self Promotion: Is This Really a Rant About Gender?"  The main question, riffing off of the debate stirred up by Clay Shirky's article, "A Rant About Women," was: "Is it necessary to be a self-aggrandizing jerk to get ahead?"

So yeah.  Some questions that were debated were:  What does it mean to get ahead?  What's the difference between aggression and assertiveness?  How do you handle the double standard wherein men can act 10 times as aggressive as women while women get called a "bitch" when they act confident and powerful?  How can we change the standards on both the supply and demand sides?

One conclusion of the panel I found particularly salient and helpful was that when people moan about sexism and double standards, the retort "stop blaming men" makes no sense.  Demanding diversity on panels, at schools, in work places (minorities as well) is not a way of blaming men, but a way to improve the quality of, well, everything, by widening the pool of excellent candidates.  It was also pointed out that creating systems that invite women and people of color does not "lower standards" (I can't even believe how prejudiced a comment that is, but it's a common repsonse!), but rather acknowledges and addresses the issue that there are a bajillion qualified people out there, yet usually the white, male, "jerks" (to use Clay Shirky's word) are the ones viewed as successful and enjoying that so-called success.

As a result of all of this, I revisited Deanna Zandt's post, "Shirky to women: ur doin it wrong."  Definitely worth checking out her articulate post, as well as the debate that went on in the comments.  The blogosphere firestorm stirred up by Shirky's article may have subsided, but these issues are far from solved, so this is all certainly worth a read, a think, a comment, a talk with a friend about over coffee.  Who knows, it might even inspire you to hire a different employee, stick up for someone in the classroom, or go after what you think you deserve.  (For the record, I *do* think you can do that without being a self-aggrandizing jerk, a quality of modern masculinity that I hope we can all grow out of someday.)

30 Allies in 30 Days

Hardy Girls Healthy Women is highlighting 30 Allies in 30 Days leading up to their SPARK Summit on how to fight the sexualization of girls in media.  You've got to check out all the inspiring things these women are doing and join them in their efforts! I'm honored to be included as today's sister ally.  See you at SPARK!

Press release: NewMoon.com’s “Beautiful Girls” Raise the Value of Inner Beauty

Spreading the word...! 

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:              


Girls Fight Harmful Beauty Messages:
NewMoon.com’s “Beautiful Girls” Raise the Value of Inner Beauty

Flashing zits on a virtual face seek to convince girls to retouch “unflattering” Facebook photos so no one will “gawk at them.” Relentless media and marketing tell girls that their looks are far more important than their minds, spirits, or talents.

Girls have had enough.

Now, girls are fighting back with NewMoon.com’s “Beautiful Girls” campaign. Starting today, through June 30, anyone worldwide can honor a girl or woman for her inner beauty: her accomplishments, passion, creativity, compassion, and all the other things that make up a wonderful person by completing a brief nomination form at www.newmoon.com.

Starting May 1, all the nominees will be featured in the Beautiful Girls section of NewMoon.com: the safe, ad-free, creative community made by and for girls. This powerful campaign counteracts unhealthy messages like those at PicTreat.com, where “face detection & correction technology … can smooth out skin, remove skin flaws….

PicTreat is just a new example of the age-old messages that led 90 percent of the teen girls questioned in a 2009 Girl Scout Research Institute study to say they couldn’t measure up to “beauty” standards.

“Stuff like that makes me furious,” says Nneoma Igwe, 13, of New Moon’s Girls Editorial Board. “We girls know that what we do, think and care about is more important than how other people think we should look. With this year’s “Beautiful Girls” online event, and our What Is Beauty magazine (in bookstores May 1) we tell the world what really matters!”

New Moon Girl Media Founder Nancy Gruver says, “For 17 years, New Moon has believed in the power and beauty of girls being themselves. This year, we’re in the leadership group convened by the American Psychological Association and Girls Scouts of the USA to support H.R. 4925 the Healthy Media for Youth Act. Girls need it desperately.”

According to the American Psychological Association, three of the most common mental health problems among girls — eating disorders, depression or depressed mood, and low self-esteem — are linked to sexualization of girls and women in media.

Gruver says, “But there’s better news among the thousands of New Moon girls: when asked to define beauty for the May-June issue of New Moon Girls magazine, our members tell about their inner beauty shining out in creativity, courage, and compassion; the only beauty that can keep them feeling happy and fulfilled. “

Anyone can nominate someone (even themselves!) to be a New Moon Beautiful Girl—just go to www.newmoon.com/form/11/beautiful-girl-nomination and fill out the simple entry.

Then look for that girl’s first name on NewMoon.com in May, June and July.

“After all,” Nneoma says, “Real Beauty isn’t about how we look. It's about who we are and what we do.”

Caught between casual sex and domesticity, women find regrets and false promises of empowerment

I'm liking this article by Jessica Grose, The Shame Cycle: The new backlash against casual sex, for the way she succintly ties feminist history and today's climate to real women's lives.

Grose talks about about why women might regret their casual sexual encounters and instead hanker for domesticity; one idea I want to add to that pot is--what ever happened to valuing the quality of relationships?  We don't think it's liberating, empowering, or fun to have a short, meaningless friendship, so why would having a sexual fling *not* take an emotional toll?  In wanting to be tough and independent, women have no space to think they deserve a loving, committed partner--and as Grose points out, when we crave that closeness with someone, we reprimand ourselves for being a crybaby who may as well aspire to '50s housewifery.  Women try so hard to deflect the demeaning stereotype of femininity as emotional PMS-induced hysteria, that we end up isolating ourselves socially.  And what exactly is powerful about that?

American pop culture tells us that sexuality is empowering.  But, in a way, not much has changed from women's powerless historical role: for today's Kill Bill-inspired feminists, sexuality remains wrapped in the pressure to *be sexy* for someone else...and to add insult to injury, we're now expected to somehow own and enjoy that feeling.

Rachel Simmons sums it up well in her post on hook-up culture, "As authors like Ariel Levy and Jean Kilbourne and Diane Levin have shown, the sexualization of girls and young women has been repackaged as girl power. Sexual freedom was supposed to be good for women, but somewhere along the way, the right to be responsible for your own orgasm became the privilege of being responsible for someone else’s."

Update:  More on the freedoms and debate about hook-up culture by Shira Tarrant.

Eve Ensler's new book for girls

Eve Ensler’s Mission: Awaken the Girl Self

By Marianne Schnall

Eleven years after the launch of V-Day, Eve Ensler sets out to do for girls what she did for women—uncover the truth of their experiences and create a global dialogue. Her new book is being published February 9...

Read more.

It's time to challenge casual sexism

Check out this article from the Times UK about challenging the casual culture of sexism that we all accept.

I love the author's point that we all stay silent because eh, what's the big deal--we want to be cool, not uptight.  And when we do speak out, we get the response, "Geez, why can't women take a joke?"  We can take a joke, but sexism isn't funny.

Now go read this really articulate, awesome article!

Addendum:  I was just reading Lucinda Marshall's blogpost on "Objectifying and Belittling Women In The Name Of Breast Cancer Awareness," when I got to her line, "At the risk of being called a humorless feminist [this campaign is] sophomoric and deeply insulting to both men and women."  There it is folks.  The humorless feminist is a total stereotype, a dirty joke.  Our aversion to standing up for everyone's right to act as a full human being (yup, that's my definition of feminism) is our own obstacle. 

And in the meantime, this cancer awareness campaign is a perfect example of casual sexism, where the physicality of boobs as objects is used as the attention-grabbing aspect of their ads.  But what else are companies to do than concoct a sexy message to garner support and awareness?  Perhaps if the general public were to make some noise and let them know we don't need ads like this to care about the *people* we're losing to breast cancer, companies wouldn't need to rely on sashaying body parts to get the word out.

German women's magazine to ban professional models via Feministing

Reposted from Feministing:

Lately, Europe seems to be eons ahead of us regarding their recognition that the fashion and media having a significantly unhealthy effect on women's body image. The latest is Germany's most popular women's magazine's announcement of their intention to omit professional models from their pages in an effort to combat unrealistic social beauty standards:

The editor-in-chief of Germany's bimonthly Brigitte told reporters that, starting next year, the magazine will feature a mix of prominent women and regular readers in photo spreads for everything from beauty to fashion to fitness.
Andreas Lebert said the move is a response to readers increasingly saying that they are tired of seeing "protruding bones" from models who weigh far less than the average woman.
"We will show women who have an identity -- the 18-year-old student, the head of the board, the musician, the football player," Andreas Leberts said in Hamburg, where the magazine, published by Gruner+Jahr, is based.

I like this sentiment; we should humanize models not just as "more realistic" subjects of voyeurism. I just worry these kinds of efforts (cough, Dove, cough) often end up having some contradicting issues to contend with - like if the new magazine's campaign consists of shaming underweight women, that's not very productive either.
Either way, it's interesting to see how fast the efforts to combat body image issues and eating disorders are spreading among the fashion and media industries on one continent, while others (ahem) seem to be at a standstill.

Posted by Vanessa - October 06, 2009, at 10:14AM | in Body Image , International

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London Fashion Week stylist resigns over designer's decision to use size 14 models in show

via dailymail.co.uk

My reactions:
1. Hooray, someone used normal sized women to display fashion!
2. Ick, women on the runway still look like mannequins. Who cares what size we are when we're still objectified and obsessed with looks?
3. Who is this dude who resigned and what is *that* about?!
4. Why isn't the headline "Fashion Designer Uses Normal Sized Models"? Is the fact that that's *not* news, good news? Have teeny steps actually been made in an altered public consciousness? Or is there no attention being paid because nothing has changed and no on cares about a drop in the bucket?
Lots of mixed feelings here, folks. Help me out.

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New affiliation with New Moon!

I'm excited to announce my new affiliation with New Moon, a great ad-free magazine and web community where girls 8-12 can truly be themselves! Sign up for a free trial today!!

via newmoon.com

New Moon Girls is an online community and print magazine where girls create and share poetry, artwork, videos, and more; chat together; and learn. All in a fully moderated, educational environment designed to build self-esteem and positive body image. Membership is just $29.95 for 12 months unlimited online access + 6 bimonthly issues of New Moon Girls print magazine.

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Donate to help Women, Action & the Media transition into its new organization!

Women, Action & the Media

READ BELOW FOR A MAJOR WAM! ANNOUNCEMENT


BIG NEWS!

The Center for New Words is transforming into WAM! (Women, Action, & the Media), which will now be an independent national organization.
Jaclyn Friedman, co-founder and director of WAM!, will head the effort to move WAM! into its new role as an autonomous organization. In its first five years, as a program of CNW, WAM! has already grown from a small-but-spirited gathering of 100 women to an influential national force that this year convened more than 600 activists and media-makers from 29 states and 9 countries, and recently forced the Washington Post to revise its editorial policy after WAM!mers publicly protested yet another sexist slur aimed at Hillary Clinton.
There is some bad news: in order to focus on the strategic planning, leadership development and fundraising required to launch an independent WAM!, we have postponed the next WAM! conference until 2011.
We won’t lie — it’s not going to be easy. In order for the new WAM! to succeed, we have to find brand-new sources of funding at a time when many funders are having a hard time even fulfilling their existing commitments. But we have one thing most organizations don’t have: YOU.
If you’ve ever considered yourself a part of the CNW or WAM! community, this is the moment to be counted. What you do right now will determine WAM’s future.
Yes, we are asking you for a donation. One that means something to you. We are trying to raise $30,000 by October 20. These crucial funds will not only be the seed money from which we can begin to grow the new, independent WAM!, they will also demonstrate to potential large-capacity funders that WAM! has the broad grassroots support to be a national force to be reckoned with.
But we’re not going to make that goal without everyone pitching in. Can you donate to WAM! right now?
With your support and Jaclyn’s leadership, WAM! is now poised to take another great leap in power and influence.
In the next two years, we can launch thriving local WAM! chapters in major cities across the country, which will foster on the grassroots level the kind of cutting-edge thought and action WAM! already inspires nationally. We can build an engaged online WAM! community through monthly webinars on timely topics, a brand-new WAM! website designed to foster action, and of course, our ever-flourishing listserv. And we can ensure that the next WAM! conference — now planned for Chicago in March 2011 — is the largest and most influential yet, creating an unstoppable force for gender justice that will change the media landscape for good.
New Words has a 36-year history of responding creatively to changing times. In 1974, we opened New Words Bookstore. Thirty-two years later, we evolved into the Center for New Words, where our events and programs have galvanized feminist voices and ideas. Our evolution reflects larger changes in the publishing industry, the women’s movement, technology, and the economy.
Every day, WAM!mers help each other place op-eds and articles, get powerful media jobs, leverage new technology, hold the media accountable, produce and promote books, films, and other projects, get stories told about our lives and work, and change the very structure of the media itself. You can continue your support for New Words’ legacy and join this growing movement by making a contribution today. Please donate now to join the WAM! movement. Once you do, you’ll receive regular updates on our progress and ongoing opportunities to shape our new direction.
With your help, we can ensure that everyone will be hearing the loud, wise “new words” of women for many years to come.
Jaclyn Friedman, Director, Women, Action & the Media
Tina Brand, CNW Board President
P.S. Here’s that button again. Please donate today.

We use Google’s secure server to receive donations. Your donation will go directly to CNW and will be used to support and grow the new WAM!.

via centerfornewwords.org

I just donated and you should too--If you have $5, 5 cents, or 5 pieces of pocket lint, give them to WAM!. This is one of the most important, helpful, and sisterhood-focused group of people...now becoming an organization. Reach into those pockets--even a little help will really make a difference!

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More positive talk from Glamour

The buzz from Glamour magazine's photo of a "real" woman continues... The model herself as well as Glamour's Editor-in-Chief talk about their reactions and hopes for women on the Today Show:

Well said

Katha Pollitt writes on the inaccuracies and "house-dividing" consequences of the feminist wave labels. Right on, well-said, thank you for putting it out there!

To society at large, feminist in-fighting and blaming only serves to highlight women's demands as disorganized at best and hysterical at worst. As a relative young'un who has instinctively resisted the wave label (yes, Katha, I *don't* think pole-dancing is "empowering"), I'm finding many young women who, like me, are turning to collaboration and understanding as the way to change.

Women and Major Magazines Cover Stories Monitor

According to Beverly Wettenstein at the Huffington Post, "The year 2008 was considered to be transformational for women in politics and the broader perception of women in the media and society." Check out her article, Second Annual "Women and Major Magazines Cover Stories Monitor." What's your take on the coverage?

Working Mothers, Careers and Ambivalence: What Else is New?

I'm digging the post and comments on Working Mothers, Careers and Ambivalence: What Else is New? by Cynthia Samuels, at BlogHer...

Better late than never

I've also been meaning to post about SWAN Day, a new holiday celebrating women artists around the globe on March 28th of every year. Check out the amazing stories about how people celebrated, what projects women are working on, and the inspiring video of Sandra Oh interviewed about her favorite woman artist.

Female Force comic books

From Jill Zimon at WritesLikeSheTalks.com..."Female Force" comic books.

I have to say, I feel unsure what they're about. Is the idea that real women's lives are heroic? That any woman's story can end in success? Maybe it just irks me that when seen together, the fact that all "powerful" women are one step behind a man, becomes crystal clear. And that's certainly not the fault of the comic books, but just another reason why feminism still needs to be going strong. But then, my "media watchdog" kicks in and I start to wonder if creating comic book versions of real people turns them into fantasy characters where hardship and adversity don't exist or can't affect them. ...And now I sound like I want a comic book about "Joe the Plumber" (which would truly be propaganda). Sigh. I clearly need to mull this one over more with your help!

Obama Creates a White House Council on Women and Girls

Way to create something new, Obama! I'm curious to see how this will actually work. No matter what, the existence of a White House Council on Women and Girls is immense. And I like the fact that I randomly happened to be wearing my Obama shirt today when I got wind of this news. (Yeah, ok, so it's time to do laundry, but still.)

Interview with Liz Funk, author of Supergirls!

Liz Funk, author of the new book, Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Crisis of Overachieving Girls, is on a virtual book tour--and a mission to widen everyone's tolerance and respect for being the imperfect, interesting, great people we all are.

In this interview with yours truly, Liz talks about how girls today feel they need to be perfect, gives insight into why trying to be perfect diminishes quality of life and relationships, and shares some tips on how to cherish being genuine. Enjoy!


JB: You’ve done a lot of research and interviewing for your book, Supergirls Speak Out, where you indicate that many girls and women today feel they have to be perfect, or “supergirls” who can do and be everything. Why do they have this feeling? What is particularly going on in our society that makes women feel so pressured?

LF: Girls today want to be a perfect 10. They want to excel at everything they attempt; in short, they’re perfect. Sadly, I think many young women get the message from the media, from their peer groups, and most notably, from themselves, that they have to be perfect if they want to be loved. It’s largely caused by sexism in society (especially in high schools and teen youth culture), the media, and our fast-pasted culture that doesn’t really encourage young people to spend much solitary time alone with their thoughts—they’re too busy blogging, and tweeting, and Facebooking!

JB: Is this an issue unique to the current female generation? Or, how does it tie in with past generations’ struggles for gender equality?

LF: The first draft of my book actually had a chapter about how the Supergirl dilemma is nothing new; it’s just the new century’s version of “the feminine mystique” that plagued women in the 1950’s! However, the tone of the chapter didn’t quite work, so I cut it (my initial major in college was women’s studies, so sometimes I have a tendency to write in a very academic way and bring up Friedan and Dworkin when it’s not the right place to do it. Haha…). Anyway, I think that what we are seeing here with the Supergirl dilemma is actually the exact same problem as “the feminine mystique” with symptoms that are the exact opposite. In the 1950’s; women were told that there was one way to be a woman—to be a loving homemaker mother who kept herself extremely busy with being pretty, having the latest swirling skirts and washing machine, and jetting off to PTA meetings and social committees, all in an effort to distract herself from the fact that society’s prescribed role for women was very limiting. Today, girls are told that there’s one way to be a girl: be a good daughter who keeps herself extremely busy with being pretty, having the latest season’s miniskirt and sweaters from American Eagle and the Gap, and keeping extremely busy with school and work and extracurricular activities, all in an effort to distract herself from the fact that society’s prescribed role for women is very limiting. There is the obvious difference that in the 1950’s, young women weren’t encouraged to be smart or intellectual or leaders, and today, young women are required to be intellectual and leaders, but at the end of the day, I would argue that the Supergirl dilemma is the second major crisis for young women since “the feminine mystique” that mostly arose because feminism’s work hasn’t been finished yet. We need to teach young women that it’s good to be a girl, and that they don’t need to feel confined to adhering to a very limiting female ideal in exchange for their community or their peer group’s approval.

JB: In your opinion, how does today’s media play into how women feel about themselves? What particular sources have what effects?

LF: I think the biggest problem in today’s media is that the women in the media look perfect. Female celebrities have never been thinner—Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Nicole Richie, etc. etc.—but also, we’ve never had celebrities all conforming to one limiting female ideal before: long hair, charming and giggly, and not particularly rebellious, like Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, and Jennifer Aniston (although I do love all three of these actresses). I don’t think that Angelina Jolie could have ever gotten famous today in her punk-rebel stage, because every female celebrity we see is well-groomed and nice and extroverted. Also, there are a lot of fictional Supergirls that influence how the girls at home feel about themselves: Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, the girls of Gossip Girl, and even Hannah Montana—although these are lovable characters, they give even the youngest girls the idea that beauty and success are simultaneous requirements and that you should make it look as though both come easily.

JB: What role do you feel women have in contributing to each other’s self-esteem or lack of confidence?

LF: Once young women observe perfect women in the media, they emulate having a perfect exterior, and then that model of perfection starts to take off in peer groups. I think that once one girl in a social circle—whether we’re talking in high school, in college, or among twentysomethings—starts to appear effortlessly perfect, her friends and her peers try to imitate that, and it snowballs from there.

JB: What are the consequences of trying to be perfect for individual women, their relationships, and even society or the world?

LF: Statistically, more young women than ever before are considering suicide, and I think it’s no coincidence that this is happening simultaneously with the rise of Supergirls. There are other mental health repercussions that I observed amongst girls, like anxiety, eating disorders, OCD, and depression. And I think the broadest problem is not having a sense of self; not having an identity outside of being a Supergirl or a hard worker.

JB: What are some tips you have for girls and women to positively feel they can be and do whatever they want, without feeling they must be perfect?

LF: First and foremost, girls should get some hobbies. Find things that you enjoy and that you feel passionate about that have nothing to do with work. For example, I just took up the oboe, I love to paint, I love to go to art museums, I love to read novels, and I love stupid movies (like Grandma’s Boy, Superbad, and Little Nicky). Make collages with pictures of random things that you find intriguing. Turn off the lights in your room and listen to music with your eyes closed. Meditate. Find your center! And the most revolutionary thing women can do is look in mirror and say aloud, “I love you. I appreciate you. You matter.” Say it enough, and I think the Supergirls will start to mean it, and see their Supergirl selves fading away.

Young women need to find their sense of intrinsic worth—why they matter regardless of what they look like, what other people think of them, how they make others feel, and what they’ve accomplished. Everyone has worth and everyone has value, and girls need to realize that when they are sitting on their couch in their jammies at 3pm on Saturday afternoon with their hair greasy and their nail polish chipping, they are just as special and just as important as when their hair is blown-dry and they are in a minidress and leggings out on the town for the night with a cute date! What I recommend is that young women spend as much time as possible embracing their creativity, developing their tastes and their personality, and finding themselves! Young women need to find their value, and I think the best way to do that is to be alone with one’s thoughts, spend time alone with oneself, and start to enjoy spending time alone and enjoy listening to one’s internal monologue.

JB: You mentioned that, under the pressure to be perfect, girls and women are oftentimes afraid to be themselves. What are some ways girls and women can feel comfortable exploring and being who they are?

LF: I absolutely love the movie Juno. Casting aside the movie’s puzzling treatment of abortion, I love the character Juno and how unafraid she was to be herself; she liked guitars and punk music and sarcasm and funky clothes. And I think that if more girls could embrace their inner-Juno, and be exactly who they want to be, regardless of whether it would affect how others see them or their place on the social totem pole, we’d be in great shape.

Supergirls on lizfunk.com
Supergirls on Amazon